I had a lovely sad day today, missing and remembering my dad. how can it be five years since I have seen and talked and laughed with him? how is it possible that he has never met my youngest son and seen the birth of this photography thing that has consumed my life? how can it be that he hasn't met my niece or soon coming nephew? how have we all gone on without him? But we have. And life has been beautiful despite that gap he left!
And I know that even losing him has taught me so much more than I ever could have imagined.
My friend Marci (who always has the perfect words for me and cries with me when needed!) gave me these words yesterday:
Nothing can make up for the absence of someone we love and it would be wrong to try to find a a substitute. We must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first but at the same time it is a great consolation for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap. God does not fill it but on the contrary keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other even at the cost of pain. --Bonhoeffer
the cost of pain. a cost I know and now appreciate so much!
